How does the news affect women's lives? Editor-in-chief Maryam Sanati tackles the stories behind the headlines with insight and intelligence every week. Join the discussion on topics such as body image, going green, politics and pop culture by leaving comments and questions, and get to know the editor of Canada's number-one women's magazine.
Back in the city – feeling a smidge of panic TIFF is so close. With the lightening speed pace of life these days, you just want to put “take it all in” in the i-Cal.
Julia asks what I’m wearing to the premieres and parties and I describe two dresses that I have found. TWO! TIFF is ten days long. And only 10 days away. Directors don’t have time to think about dresses the way that actors do, but since I’m both now, I’m in a bit of a pickle. My only solution – decided at the Toronto Thompson Hotel http://www.thompsonhotels.com/hotels/toronto/thompson-toronto rooftop over Evian – try and depend on my sharp wit and old dresses (or is it old wit and sharp dresses?) in my closet. Yes, so when they ask what are you wearing? I will say wit. Excellent plan.
Jason Anderson, film editor of EYE Weekly’s questions to me today weren’t about style, or fashion or love – they were about directing. Cause that’s what I am. A director.
It's possible we had an impromptu photo shoot outside this defunct gas station.
We picked up Americanos and Olive Oil Macarons from Nadege and put the i-pod genius on Joy Division’s “She’s Lost Control” and took off to Prince Edward County for the night. It’s my most beloved place in a hundred mile radius of Toronto. Their famous Sandbanks beaches are like a Caribbean getaway and the restaurants are on par with Canada’s finest.
We snack scallops and drink cider at The County Cider Company for lunch, nibble on bagged cheese curds and soft serve from the Black River and for dinner sip a glass of Baco Noir Reserve with lamb shank at the could-be-Napa-Valley restaurant hideaway Waupoos Estates Winery.
The Saturday sojourn isn’t complete without a trip to the Mustang drive-in outside of Picton – an old school duo screen/triple bill theatre where you can literally see the stars in the sky as you fall asleep holding hands in the Civic to Sly Stallone saving the world.
If you’re like me, the word “bedbug” makes you seize. And anyone who has experienced – or knows of someone who has experienced – their wrath knows that this paralyzing fear is warranted. However, when I read in WWD that they are not only taking over Manhattan apartments, but the pesky buggers are now messing with the fun of shopping, my fear turned vengeful.
Recently Hollister, Abercrombie & Fitch, and Victoria’s Secret distribution centres were plagued by a bedbug infestation, forcing retailers across New York, not to mention the rest of the world, to come up with a bedbug prevention plan.
Bergdorf Goodman has opted to call on some furry friends to help tackle the issue. Apparently beagles can detect the pests, and they will be patrolling the stores in all their adorableness.
Bed bugs be gone! Let the shopping with cute cuddly puppies begin! Hurray! —L.L.
Who knew that Ben’s tour would fill me with so much guilt?
I happen to think that guilt has become a natural part of my life, ever present due to constant physical distance between Ben and I, and many other military couples. Someone is always feeling as though the separation is their fault because one of us had to go on course, work on an operation, go on tour, work out of the country. It never ends. So inevitably, no matter how excited you are to go somewhere new and experience new things, it feels dampened by the guilt of leaving your loved one behind. And the person left at home feels guilty too! Sometimes, it feels like I can’t allow myself to have fun because it will be without him and what if that hurts his feelings? Oh…how the guilt haunts me.
I experienced a whole new bout of it last night when talking to Ben on the phone (web cam connection was not cooperating). I was in quite the verbal tear about my vacation…how relaxing it had been, how well I had slept, how nice it had been to see some friends and make new ones. I let my own excitement take over, oblivious to how Ben must be feeling on the other end. I noticed that he seemed pretty quiet, mumbling the occasional, “Hey, that’s great.” I should emphasise that it was not, “HEY! That’s great!!” His voice was flat. Monotone. Then, I realized.
I think that the worst thing about being away from home, and I’ve done it often enough to know, is the feeling that life is carrying on without you and you’re missing out on something. Worst yet, that you have become irrelevant at home and are no longer required. I know that last year, while away on course for 8 months, I would call and Ben would tell me how he had a BBQ with friends, how he went to see a movie, or how he took Duncan for a long hike. And although I was happy to hear about his day, I felt so far removed from it. The distance felt more than physical…it was also figurative. And there could be nothing worse than that.
So here I was, chatting away about the glorious-ness that was my vacation while Ben has not had one day off, not one night of great sleep that has not been interrupted by rockets and hardly a moment to relax. I felt my old friend sneaking up on me: Guilt.
Of course, when I apologized, Ben assured me that there was nothing to feel bad about. But I could hear the sadness in his voice and nothing could stop me from feeling like scum. We ended the phone call happily, both acknowledging that we were being silly. Still, the guilt pressed on. On both sides, I’m sure.
I know this is a feeling that we’re both going to need to accept and move past, especially if we both plan long careers in the forces. But until we do, I keep feeling it creeping up on me.
In the end, I will continue to remind Ben that no matter what, he’s always a part of my life and our home. The next time I go away for work, I’ll have to remind myself of the same.
Take that, Guilt. I’m wise to your game.
A bacon wrapped roasted turkey is a beautiful thing!
