Nov
04
The side effects from my last round of chemo have finally passed and in a couple of weeks it will be time to move ahead with the next part of my treatment: radiation.
I know radiation is proven and effective or I wouldn’t be doing it. But when you think about what radiation actually does, you have to concede that it doesn’t sound like a terribly modern way to fight the disease: burn the bejesus out of the site of the tumor five months after you’ve taken it out. Same thing with chemo: poison everything and then let the good cells regenerate.
This of course is why I’m not a doctor or a scientist. Or a pilot for that matter. (I’m supposed to get that thing made of metal that weighs 900,000 lbs and is full of people to leave the ground?)
Historically, progress is made when we laymen manage to go against what seems logical to us (the earth is flat) and trust people who have dedicated their lives to figuring these things out (the earth is round.) They do the science and we do the faith.
I think it’s a fairly sizable leap of faith that will be required of me at the end of all this treatment to believe that the things they have done have freed me of this cancer. They won’t give me a battery of tests that prove it’s gone forever. They won’t give me a final date I can mark on the calendar to celebrate that it’s all over. That’s not the way it works, much to my deep dismay. But they will give me the best treatments they have and all their reasoning and percentages and distributions and averages and best estimates. And then I have to give it my best leap, right across all the things I don’t fully understand and up over those fears and negative thoughts, hopefully landing squarely on enough terra firma from which to walk away feeling like I can go on with my life.
Planes fly. The earth is round. What seems impossible is actually possible. Maybe there will even be a smart, capable and trustworthy President in the White House, who also happens not to be a white guy for once.
Go Obama!
8 Responses to “ Science and Faith ”
Thanks for sharing this information about how Herceptin became available to women in Ontario — I had no idea. But I did know that Herceptin is a bit of a “wonder antibody” with a record of great results in women with early Her2 cancers. I even sent a little prayer of thanks (to whom I’m not sure …whoever doles out the type of cancer people get?) that I have Her2 positive cancer so that I can receive this treatment. Hurrah indeed!
By Leanne Coppen on Nov 6, 2008
Leanne,
You made me laugh. What makes me laugh, is, once more, you’ve echoed my thoughts of December 2000 when I began my 6 weeks of daily radiation. I did get Christmas Day and Boxing Day off and although I was grateful for the reprieve, I worried that my favorite holiday might sabotage the success of my radiation treatments.
I have always thought chemo and radiation to be a major leap of faith. Here I was with this “thing” in my body which my doctors said I had a 50/50 chance of surviving and I decide to up the odds by 15% and poison myself (make myself sicker) with chemo and radiation. It’s ironic when you think about it.
I’m glad I made the leap. I have no regrets. Like you, I continue to wonder about planes flying, the earth being round and the many ironies of life. It’s good.
Lorna
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